The Notebook is one of my favourite movies, so naturally that's what I picked when asked to watch a romance film over the weekend. The story tells of Noah, a poor labourer, and Allie, a rich city girl, who fall in love when she visits his town for the summer.
The reasons they fell in love could be due to reciprocity and liking. Noah was first physically attracted to Allie and tried to Initiate things as seen in the first stage of the Knapp Model of Relational Development, but failed to impress. However, the knowledge of his interest in her might have led her to be somewhat attracted to him, which made her give him a chance. Proximity is another advantage Noah had because his best friend was dating Allie's friend who brought her out, and soon enough Allie and Noah were Experimenting. By the third meeting, Allie shared details about her life and you could see how they were growing closer, Intensifying and getting physical.
Allie: Say I'm a bird! Say it!
Noah: You're a bird.
Allie: Now say you're a bird.
Noah: If you're a bird, I'm a bird.
Though it's not shown directly, I believe this could be stage 4 when they're integrating. Also, this is one of my favourite scenes, because I find it extremely sweet, and I like how Noah is looking at Allie with utmost love and adoration when he says that line. Oculesics is a big part of the movie because of the many scenes where words are not needed, because of the love shown clearly in their eyes.
However, their dissimilarities in background only made their relationship harder, thanks to the disapproval of Allie's parents. Ultimately, they broke up in the middle of the movie due to a lack of communication, and tried to move on due to a misunderstanding, which really shows how important communication is in the management of a relationship. I shan't spoil the movie for those who have not watched it, but you really should!
For those who've been in love/a relationship, how have you used verbal communication in the three processes (engagement, management, disengagement) of a relationship? Or how do you and your partner use non-verbal cues to express your love?
The reasons they fell in love could be due to reciprocity and liking. Noah was first physically attracted to Allie and tried to Initiate things as seen in the first stage of the Knapp Model of Relational Development, but failed to impress. However, the knowledge of his interest in her might have led her to be somewhat attracted to him, which made her give him a chance. Proximity is another advantage Noah had because his best friend was dating Allie's friend who brought her out, and soon enough Allie and Noah were Experimenting. By the third meeting, Allie shared details about her life and you could see how they were growing closer, Intensifying and getting physical.
Allie: Say I'm a bird! Say it!
Noah: You're a bird.
Allie: Now say you're a bird.
Noah: If you're a bird, I'm a bird.
Though it's not shown directly, I believe this could be stage 4 when they're integrating. Also, this is one of my favourite scenes, because I find it extremely sweet, and I like how Noah is looking at Allie with utmost love and adoration when he says that line. Oculesics is a big part of the movie because of the many scenes where words are not needed, because of the love shown clearly in their eyes.
However, their dissimilarities in background only made their relationship harder, thanks to the disapproval of Allie's parents. Ultimately, they broke up in the middle of the movie due to a lack of communication, and tried to move on due to a misunderstanding, which really shows how important communication is in the management of a relationship. I shan't spoil the movie for those who have not watched it, but you really should!
For those who've been in love/a relationship, how have you used verbal communication in the three processes (engagement, management, disengagement) of a relationship? Or how do you and your partner use non-verbal cues to express your love?
7 comments:
in this day and age where everyone is so well educated and eloquent, i don't trust what the mouth says. a good example, sales people.
having worked in the sales line (pre sale, floor sales and after sale) for 2 years, i have seen how well orchestrated scripts have allowed a sales person to manipulate their audience. gone are the days where a salesman's job is to introduce a product most catered to your needs; now, they sell what makes them the most profit.
in this light, i believe actions speak the loudest when showing your love for the people around you.
Zed, I think a salesman's job has ALWAYS been to sell as much as he can - whether it be today or 100 years ago. Anyways... both verbal and non-verbal communication would be important in sustaining a relationship. What you say must be backed up by your actions and what you really truly feel. Total honesty, tact, and the willingness to compromise and talk things through rationally is key to maintaining a successful relationship. Of course, first the person must be willing to accept his/her flaws and commit time towards sustaining the interaction. But hey, every thing's give and take, right?
in simple terms, love is merely interaction, sustainment and part of our progression through this life of ours. of course then, communication is key to all three aspects mentioned. sounds easy doesn't it, but why are there so many failing relationships? too much noise in this environment that we live in maybe?
Noah to allie in The Notebook:
“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul
&makes us want to reach for more. .
That plants a fire in our hearts &brings
peace to our minds.
&thats what you have given me. .
Thats what i’d hope to give you forever.”
My favourite text in the whole movie!
Whether its love or friendship, sometimes the simplest way is to just express it through non verbal communication. We can never go wrong with that.
Agreed with all the people above, actions speak the loudest.. not just nonverbal cues, but things you actually do to show you care, be it small things like sacrificing time for her, waking up earlier to make breakfast etc.. =p
as much as i agree with the sentiments of the previous commenters that non-verbal cues resonate deeper, i think these days verbal communication plays an increasingly important role in relationships. with even more channels for communication nowadays - namely the internet, text messaging, instant messaging and so on - the written word holds more power than ever before and relationships are growing increasingly reliant on verbal communication, to the extent that nowadays many relationships are formed on social networking or dating sites and even something as major as a divorce can be initiated with an sms.
being in a relationship myself, it is interesting to observe how both non-verbal and verbal communication contribute to our understanding of each other in different ways. i think being able to communicate well with each other is what brought us together in the first place, but nothing's as comforting as a hug after a long tiring day. :)
i agree with the above comment by expirydate. in my personal opinion, i think BOTH verbal and non-verbal communication is essential to a harmonious relationship as if you send conflicting, contradicting messages, a misunderstanding is bound to occur.
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